So, today was a challenge. It was very hard to even remain active at one point. I popped in SpongeBob for Collin and drifted. I kept picturing the goal in my mind: a deeper relationship. See, for all my most recent fasting, my main goal had been to get through it. In my maturity, I've found that success should be less derived by a mere conclusion, and more from introspection. It's nice to be able to say "I did it!"; there are famous T-shirts from events and places that bear that record. Afterwards, this task (usually something very mundane in retrospect) is reflected upon as something that must never be faced again. Hollywood really has screwed us up. Purposely withholding food and secular materials from oneself isn't a paramount goal. Anorexics go on starvation binges, and they can no more cast out a devil than an actor portraying a priest. Furthermore, some religious circles, some of which strongly claim Christian roots, abstain from secular media all the time, but have yet to tap into anything greater than the Sabbath day rituals.
No, I look at this differently now. I see it as the last quiz before the final exam. After this is over, I can't spend too much time wrapped up in celebrating over Waffle House waffles (God has blessed that franchise, by the way), because my spirit has been readied for bigger battles. I can look back over where God has brought me and bless Him for doing so. I must maintain focus, though, because tougher battles are ahead. The fasting and the consecration are about building endurance. This week is easy, because I know that hundreds ( I hope) of other people are doing it along with me, and we are having nightly services that are empowering. The final exam, for this level anyway, is not going to come during a fast. It won't catch me in the middle of a spirit-filled service either. It will come once I've walked in the abundance produced from this sacrifice. Satan will wait until he thinks that I am too consumed by my newly acquired wealth and status, just to see if I love God, or His goodness. I can't flunk this test, because I don't know if it will be repeated in this same season, and I don't have 37 more years to wait to see if I can make it in the pool after the angel troubles the waters.
Ah, the third day beckons.
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